Soliloquy of Despair...

When would it be deemed appropriate for one to acknowledge complete defeat and sink deliberately into the depths of depression? I would assume that this would be apt when all alternatives have been exhausted and their is no sign of any progress. It is easier to discontinue hope if the goal to which you strive offers no tangible benefit. For example, if one strives to improve the world through altruistic deeds and that person perceives no positive change, then it would be silly to continue exuding effort fruitlessly. A common dream amongst most people of perception is to derive that singular truth, that would be the catalyst of all future progress, from the life that has shaped them. This is most often a futile goal to pursue, for there can be no singular truth besides change, which means that truth changes continuously. A common substitute for finding truth is the development of an original idea; something unique and novel that would be spawned from an individual. That pursuit of the original is a considerable driving force that brings about progress as well as regression. The creation of the original is the pure product of the soul. The development of an original idea proves to the creator that they are more than the sum of their parts and experiences, rather they become greater than themselves, an Üebermensch or Dostoevsky spiteful man. In spite of themselves they achieve a great feat, that of a purely original work. This is contrary to the scientific reasoning of today. How could a being, bound by limitations of space and time, create a work that exceeds the very capabilities of the being itself. So if we honor the successes of science then we admit to ourselves that we are slaves to our environment and that no novel idea can be created by anyone. We then examine those supposedly novel ideas of the past only to recognize them all as regurgitations of environmental influences. So the hope that a soul exists, that we can rise above our own states and truly control our fate is no more than a childish dream. Our only recourse is to focus on those mundane tasks that satisfy those maslowian needs.

What if we fight against such an outcome, continue to strive for the original unceasingly, struggle to find the original? Many have tried and failed. J.R.R. Tolkien has created an entire world with its own languages customs, rituals, religions etc... However he has only adapted and/or merged already existing ideas into another. However, if we decide to imagine a unique situation, do we decide that the imagined situation be bound by the same laws that bind us? Wouldn't that be working within the realm of the non-original? So there is no hope for the original. The best we can hope to look forward to is Steven King like accomplishments, desperately attempting to create an original work through exploiting the monstrous.

This is why despair befalls me, the only goal that could redeem my existence is unreachable given the factors involved. This doesn't mean that I will discontinue my endeavors. I will still strive knowing full well that I may never reach my goal. Until then I must live the life of Sisyphus.

Symbiosis

An intimate relationship is an inhibiting force upon one's desires and goals. Desires become second to those of your partner, goals get compromised due to conflicts of interests. One would assume that in order to achieve personal goals you must be allowed personal time independent of your partner, but ideally the partner should be one in which he or she complements the abilities to achieve the goals. The ideal partner would be one which shares similar goals.

The success of a relationship is directly related to the achieving of the members' goals. Incompatible goals would require both parties to work independently to achieve their personal goals, which is more difficult for the individual than working together with their partner. Incompatible goals also infringe upon time that a person could spend with their partner. It would be more advantageous for both parties in a relationship to cease the relationship altogether and search for a partner that shares similar goals. Obviously there are many factors that would hamper this type of solution to a problem. If a person is consumed by some affinity for a particular characteristic of their partner, then he or she may sacrifice their goals in order to sustain the relationship contrary to their advantage. These people are lacking in will, they have a low self-esteem, and are committing to a life of servitude for a relationship. They are sheep.

Why does a person sacrifice themselves for their relationship? The partner often fulfills a role that has or will become absent. For instance, a man sacrifices himself to sustain a relationship with a woman that has similar characteristics of his mother. This is due to a fear of the unknown. His mother's characteristics satisfy him and since he cannot fathom any other type of woman as being satisfying, he holds onto this substitute mother. This Oedipus complex is a very common ailment that subjects so many to a life of misery. People should be able to perceive themselves objectively, notice their faults, and correct them by any means possible. This would ensure a satisfactory life.

Who am I to talk. I am in love with a woman to the point that her absence causes me grief. Even though I know fully well that I should behave differently and I make extreme efforts to change my actions, I am compelled to continue my relationship servitude. I would hope that you still give me some respect, I only serve because I am served by her. She worships me with equal fervor that I worship her. There are times when the adoration blurs out of focus and the absence of completed goals comes to the head. At these points conflict arises and due to the passion that we feel for one another a fight of extreme measure will surely result. Since the force of passion attracts us together, when we have opposite views the passion throws us to opposite sides of the continuum. Only a sacrifice can bring us back together, mainly by one party acquiescing and passion cooled down. Even though a conflict is a damper upon the relationship, after it is resolved the relationship is bound to grow to a closeness and intimacy that was unachievable prior to the conflict.