Ellipsis...

I feel as though I am entering into the ellipsis of my life, where all the events and accomplishments can be summed up in three tiny dots. My will power has greatly diminished as has my ambition. I am no longer that teenager with lofty dreams of making a positive difference, bringing more beauty into this shithole, or even making a mark. I have long feared the moment when I give up hope and just sink back into this filthy slime called reality, but now that its here I really can't muster the strength to fight it. I did once enjoy having the future permeate my thoughts. Imagining what I could do to raise the bar for mankind, how I could effect people en masse for the goal of good, or what it would take to open people's eyes. But mankind is digressing, people hate to be effected and their eyes tend, more often than not, to be sewn shut. Besides that, what the fuck difference is it going to make if people suddenly desire to change the world for the better. Desire for good is powerless. It is the desire for possession that is the force behind the momentum of this world. I've known that for quite some time, and I tried to figure a way to make that greed work for good. But that happens either when its too late or at the end of a gun barrel. Being a pacifist, I'll have to settle for too late... So what happens next. War? Slavery? Revolution? Anarchy? Genocide? I really don't care anymore. Life at the end of a rope is still life and doesn't differ much than how it is now. So I go about filling my time with mindless card games, meaningless work, and of course writing mindless drivel so that I can depress someone else, because misery loves company...