What Can I Say?

My brain is dying. I can't and haven't thought of anything to say or write that I would be willing to listen or read if I was on the receiving end. So, for that fact, I have been quite quiet and sullen these past few days.

People at work are starting to notice(or try their best at paying attention). Nobody really cares whether or not I'm laconic or loquacious. That's kind of depressing because it means that I never had anything to say in the first place.

I do know quite well that I'm fooling myself any time I get all riled up about some issue or idea in my head. I'm faking excitement in order to convince myself that I'm normal. To tell you the truth the only time I'm remotely excited is regarding the wicked: sex, drugs, rock and roll and the like.

Occassionally my efforts to fake enthusiasm create their own momentum and I get swept away. I can sometimes forget that I'm a fraud and have genuine concern for my fellow man, real anger towards those fascist fucks killing off people stupid enough to put their lives on the line for a corporate puppet's will... See even then I got a bit vehement, but after I finished writing it I knew it was bullshit. I can care less if someone wants to go blow the heads off of some Iraqi insurgent and instead gets his own blasted off first. These people want to be there and who am I to tell say they shouldn't or even should. Do I have family in Iraq? No. Do I own stock in Hallibuton or Brown&Root? No. Does a single vote from a freethinker have a chance in hell to stand up to a majority of god fearing sheep? No.

So as long as the draft isn't reinstated I can give a shit what our dim witted little hick of a president does to this country. I don't plan on leaving this country (can't afford it) any time soon, so the international opinion of Americans does not apply to me. America is a lost cause for those that think objectively and care. So since it is lost, why bother worrying about it. Just jump ship when it's going down. People may say I've lost my sense of honor, but fuck, honor is something given to those that deserve it. And nobody that represents me deserves it; republican or democrat...

Well there I went again ranting about an issue. I don't even care, blah blah blah.... I am so sick of not caring because I am powerless to change anything. I feel like a whining little shit, so I might as well shut the fuck up since I can't seem to justify writing any of this shit nor do I even care of people's opinions of me. If that's the case then why would I ever even post this waste. See I'm full of shit. But the best answer I can come up with is...

SPITE